It takes me back to when I was in school and didn’t do homework or projects. Or practice music, or try at all at gymnastics. The only thing I’ve ever done that made me feel proud and brave was running the 100m sprint in grade 7, I came in first place. That is the first and last time I can remember feeling confident.

I promise, none of this is intentional, I hate it more than anyone who I’ve pissed off, I assure you. I just really, really, don’t want people looking at me, judging me, thinking about me. Maybe that makes no sense, especially with writing a blog that’s named after me, but there it is.

You should buy the magic zigzag pillows, all of them, they are seriously fucking amazing.

Right in the middle of a 4 lane highway, enjoying the morning’s hit and run. I like the attitude on the little fellow, he’s already tired out from eating. I hope neither of them got smushed.

I don’t know what else to say. I’m tired and I need a few sleeps to gather my thoughts and feelings.

Anyway, I did lots of stuff, I will post pictures of that another time. This entry is for the awesome things I bought while there!

Seriously, yes, I did bring home toilet paper, haha. Call me crazy, but you can not buy this here in Canada. How sad! As you can see, one pack is floral and somewhat old lady-ish and the other has silver stars and makes me feel like partying. I don’t know when I will get around to opening and using these, maybe never. I also always bring home GB Smarties-they are highly superior-and Polo Mints. And there were 2 Flakies but one seems to have disappeared. Other candy, not pictured, that I brought back were marshmallow shrimps and pig snouts and gummy pig tails.


I also brought a pile of gifts for Ari that included pajamas, magazines and crystals that grow in vinegar.

My uncle, who is 84 this year and is still working on a farm, gave me this rock which is a bit of a mystery to all of us. He says that when plowing fields (in southern Kent) he occasionally comes across a round rock and will put it in his pocket. His collection was small, maybe about 40 all together, and were varying sizes and colours. A couple were broken in half and appeared to have a thin outer layer covering a white stone (maybe chalk?) and hollow right in the middle. The one he gave me, pictured here, is dark green but it was the only one like that, most were sort of brown. Kent is covered in flint, but they are not that. If anyone has any insight, like maybe they are fossilized poo? Feel free to tell me.

I was tasked with finding a recipe for and making brioche hamburger buns and mini baguettes. Sounds easy, I guess, if you’re some kind of Buffy-Jo Bakesalot, which I’m not. Sure, I can make banana bread and cake and cookies til the cows come home but anything involving yeast? GTFO. Had to do it though, had to suck up my fears and do it.

Miracles of miracles, they came out pretty well. I mean, they taste great and the crumb is super soft and spongy and they smell like delicious. Shannon is going to eat them all before bed with jam.

Seriously, I’m pretty proud of these guys. Baguette dough? Total disaster that is getting tossed before bed. I’m also making no-knead bread (will be shaped into buns, could work!) but that’s for tomorrow. All this is everything to do with my future.

Also I made this quilt top that I love. Once it’s actually quilted? Very heavy, very metal, very much the other part of my future.

Cute, eh?

Seriously. OF ALL TIME. That is alongside Prince, Zappa, The Who, Zeppelin and assorted musical soundtracks.

And you know what flipped me from being a casual admirer to a hardcore fanatic? Her performance on Howard Stern. Yep. Her interview was great but her lead in story to performing Edge of Glory, how and why it was written, and then singing it as a ballad (unlike the album version which is poppy and uptempo, like she did on the MTV video awards) was seriously emotional. It moved me. And I’m very confident that it wasn’t just me, I know that there are many Howard fans that love Gaga too now. If I knew how to see the embed code on this stupid iPad I’d make a link, but if you search “gaga Howard stern” it is the top result. The other song she did, Hair, was also great, a fantastic song.

Ok. So I’ve outed myself as a Gaga fan. What else do I love?

Oh yes, I love Arrested Development. It is the funniest series I have ever watched. The stupid thing is that I missed it entirely when it originally aired. I mean, I caught a few episodes here and there on satellite when I was living in Windsor, but it seems to me that it really needs to be seen beginning to end because there are a lot of jokes that carry from one episode to the next. Thankfully, all three seasons are on Netflix, that was how I watched it, basically on repeat, for a few months. Then I got these tattoos. I wanted them to be obvious to fans of the show (like the couple that was giggling behind me at the petting zoo at the CNE) but no super blatant like other AD tattoos I’d looked at online.

The first one, on my left calf, commemorates Buster’s pet turtle, Mother, that he got in a misguided attempt to make his own mother jealous. Mother dies from eating Uncle Father Oscar’s marijuana stash.

The second is the seal that was from GOB’s wife (Crindy?) that he used in a magic show but had to be set free as it had gotten a taste for blood. Buster went swimming in the ocean against his mother’s wishes on his way to army and meets up with the loose seal (see? Loose seal=Lucille) who bites off his hand.

I think I might get a few more, I have a bunch of very silly and hilarious ideas (jorts with analrapist on the banner maybe) but we will see. Oh, and darling Glennie did these at Pearl Harbor in Kensington Market in Toronto. She is super talented and fun and makes you feel like you have a new best friend at the end of your tattoo appointment.

Has anything sillier ever existed? I can’t take it out of the plastic wrapper until I have a frame for it so I won’t get damaged by spit takes. Seriously, it’s pretty much the funniest card ever.

Well. See, I said card, not picture. Nope. As of right now this is the funniest picture:

Haha!

It’s still good! It’s still good!

Three. The answer is three. And are you crazy? I don’t wear all three on the same hand OR at the same time. That would be ridiculous.

The gold one is a Disney Couture ring, from the Pirates of the Caribbean collection. The giant black one is carved from tiger’s eye and has a diamond for an eyeball. We’re all familiar with the first one.

These posters are in every other ad box at Yonge/Bloor station. And on lots of billboards all over North America.

Oh boy.