Not that it would be hard to find a regular companion here, haha. There are so many middle aged and older men that would love to have their way with me. I know it’s been written about many times before so I’m just adding to that pile (and less eloquently so) but let’s clear up some apparent misconceptions.

I get involuntarily fondled here a lot. Every day and often more than once a day. Yesterday it happened as I was waiting for fresh fruit to be cut up. A man sitting on the curb reached out and stroked my leg and asked if he could see my tattoos. Yes, I said, you can see them but you may not touch them. For real, this has to be said? Two days ago an American man did the same to my arm and then asked if I had tattoos all over, because that is his business, to know where I’m tattooed. Because I exist and he deserves to know. I am public property.

The worst happened the other evening, I’d gone to the local bar to see if anyone I knew was there and wound up standing outside chatting with the waiter. Out comes a man, he looked about 50+, balding, red face, Hawaiian shirt. He says to me in a rueful tone “god, a beautiful girl like you with those tattoos…” Message received, loud and clear, I wrecked my body for you. Oh gosh how I regret it, how I wish he’d saved me from enduring all that pain and spent a ton of money. Now I know I exist merely for his viewing pleasure. I did end up talking to him a bit, I have no pride, ok, and things went from bad to worse. He got very angry when I admitted I had no knowledge of the big fishing tournament that’s on right now. Like I give a shit about fishing. Or Sammy Hagar. Dude finally gave up and walked away, glaring at me the whole time.

TO BE CLEAR: I don’t want your revolting hands on me. I don’t give a flying fuck what your outdated and antiquated opinions on women with tattoos are. You are incredibly rude and in the future I might not be so nice about it. I haven’t decided yet if the next handsy asshole gets a slap or spat upon. I guess that’s up to my own discretion.

It’s not all bad here, of course. I have lots of friends and the city is full of interesting places to explore. I go to the beach every other day and float in the water. I’m practicing head stands because I think that’s a useful skill. I’m reading books again. It’s restful and chill and I’m feeling more like myself every day.

Look, I’d take having to shovel snow three times a week for three months if it meant summer temperatures never rose above 22. No more of this 35 that feels like 42 bullshit. Where in Canada has this? Without a black fly season, because I’ll take 35 over black fly season.

Here’s the best part, I’m the only person that gets fatter in summer because I really just want to hibernate. Sad.

I’m trying to suck it up, however. Today I broke out my beautiful roller skates for the first time in more than 2 years. Since the accident. I guess it’s like riding a horse, I should have gotten right back on but I was scared. Ari and I were brave and walked down Sterling to the bottom of the Railpath and rolled all the way to Bloor. It took a LOT longer than you’d think. Good news is we discovered a sneak through right near our place, much more convenient. Then we went home.

Then I got a tingling in my feet and I went back out, this time, from the sneak through, straight up to Dupont and then back all the way down to Dundas, then back up to home. The whole thing took about 25 minutes and would be much much less if the stupid bridges were made of something solid rather than murderous wood slats. That almost killed me. Dead.

Of course there is mountains of graffiti along the way. I’ll take more pictures as the summer rolls on.

It’s her happy baby Niamh enjoying herself at the park while sitting on a quilt I gave her. See? It is a picture of the thing I made and gave away being used. This is what I wish everyone I gave my shit to would do and yet, sadly, they don’t. Perhaps I need to be more explicit when I give away something that has taken me hours of labour, blood sweat and often tears, “when you get this home I need you to take a picture of it somehow, preferably with you in it. And smile, dang it.”

Luckily Niamh doesn’t need to be told to smile.

This is me hoping that anyone who is in current possession of something I have made and given away will kindly take a couple of nice pictures and send them to me. You are allowed to say that I’m not allowed to blog it, that’s fine. Please!

I was tasked with finding a recipe for and making brioche hamburger buns and mini baguettes. Sounds easy, I guess, if you’re some kind of Buffy-Jo Bakesalot, which I’m not. Sure, I can make banana bread and cake and cookies til the cows come home but anything involving yeast? GTFO. Had to do it though, had to suck up my fears and do it.

Miracles of miracles, they came out pretty well. I mean, they taste great and the crumb is super soft and spongy and they smell like delicious. Shannon is going to eat them all before bed with jam.

Seriously, I’m pretty proud of these guys. Baguette dough? Total disaster that is getting tossed before bed. I’m also making no-knead bread (will be shaped into buns, could work!) but that’s for tomorrow. All this is everything to do with my future.

Also I made this quilt top that I love. Once it’s actually quilted? Very heavy, very metal, very much the other part of my future.

I returned today, often I find that if I get a good score one day, it’s smart to return the next day just to check and see if more of that particular donors collection has been priced. Well, I was somewhat disappointed on that end, no more of that set, boo hoo, but I did get a new sugar bowl that will probably live in my sewing area and hold safety pins. Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t this pattern my parent’s wedding dish pattern? I think maybe. It’s not the fanciest or prettiest pattern out there but I still like it a lot. It’s got a really lovely Canadian feel to it, autumn maple leaves and keys tumbling down. There are more dishes, both dinner and salad sized, I might go back.

I also got this super, SUPER, awesome pillow case today. It’s Marimekko and it’s so cute. Big and square. It will get folded up and stacked with the rest of my precious vintage bedding. Can’t complain for 99c.

Now. I’m sure everyone is wondering why I basically don’t blog any more. And I’m also sure that if you try you’d be able to figure it out. If not, here is the simple answer: I really only like to blog when I’m feeling good and that feeling is hard to come by these days. Twitter is easier, I don’t feel bad constantly complaining and bitching there, I just don’t want this to turn into that. I know everyone is understanding and patient.

Yes, yes. First world problem, I know.

Gosh, right? Where to begin?

The main fabric, the largest swath that everything else is sitting upon, that was from Libs, it’s 2.5 yards and it’s Anna Maria Horner and it’s decor weight (a little heavy) and it will be the back of my yellow quilt. GOSH! Look at it again, it’s so seriously beautiful. And goes perfectly with everything else. Yes, I’m dying over here.

The fan of yellows is what I got in the mail today (except the honey comb, that’s Tula Pink from the workroom), it’s mostly a fabric line called Hideaway (very available on etsy) and it’s all clocks and yodeling and alpine scenery. The yellow and white stripes is by Lecien and it’s nice but it might be a little dull with the rest of the yellows but I might still use it.

The purples, I was supposed to get one full yard of the smaller print but the woman that sold it to me realized after the fact that she’d run out so she sent what she had of it, half a yard, and another half yard of the larger print and I LOVE them too. SO pretty and that’s the binding of my yellow quilt, friends. You’re seeing it in it’s very earliest stages.

Other super exciting news: Libs is having a girl! The noise I keep making starts loudly, it’s like “EEEE!” and then continues for a few seconds and then more of the same and my eyes start watering because I am seriously so deliriously happy and excited. I will spoil this child, I promise everyone that. I wasn’t living in Toronto when her first kiddo was born so he got the shaft but not this time!

And to cap it all off, I think I broke my left foot (yes, foot this time, yay!) ring toe. I dinged it getting into the shower (in a truly wretched hangover state) and stood there making a less joyous eeee noise while the water warmed up. I couldn’t sit around and baby it because it was my mom’s 70th birthday party and I had to go go go. It turned nice and purple over the course of the day and it hurts like hell 24 hours later.

The birthday party was super fun. Her friends really like to hug everyone and each other and it’s all very loving and sweet. And a giant bowl of shrimp helped. And the gravlax. Gimme some of that any day.

Stunning. The smell of them will always remind me of coming home late at night when I was a teenager-there was a row of them along the front walkway on Wolseley Ave.

Of course poppies. You know how I feel about poppies-really good. They might be my favourite flowers of them all. This patch is around the corner and every year I mean to ask for a seed pod and every year I forget.

I’m glad no one picks them so everyone can enjoy them.

I went to my first Toronto Modern Quilt Guild meeting last Sunday and I had fun! It was so nice to meet other quilters of all different ages and backgrounds-all women though. I know male quilters exist, I’ve just never had the pleasure of meeting one. Anyway, the meeting went like this: we all introduced ourselves and the woman that heads it, Kaye, told us all about the Spring Quilt situation in Utah and showed us her show schwag of which I was pretty jealous. I’d LOVE to go to that show but it’s not open to the public, wah! Then everyone showed off their latest projects and we all oohed and aahed and it was very cool to see all kinds of talent and technique.

Then the challenge. We have all been given a Kona charm pack and we have to make a quilt (whatever size/shape) using it and ONE metre of any other fabric (but only one type of fabric, not a bunch of fqs) for the front and whatever binding and backing. Sounds good, right? Well…The charm pack has it’s charm, I guess, but it’s certainly not any colour scheme that I’d chose. It’s dull and earthy and I felt pretty nervous looking at it. SO much beige has never been in my possession. Eek. Ok, so I chose a fabric, it’s a book print by Victoria and Albert (on sale for $7 at the workroom!) and got to designing. I wanted the fabrics to go as far as possible, to make the biggest quilt I could and I also wanted to keep with the book shelf look-AND I like a simple pattern and here is my finished top:

So far so good. The problems have come with the actual quilting portion of the show. I pin basted and started sewing straight lines across (as the picture is, left to right) not in the ditch but above and below each ditch but something weird was happening: the top was getting all bunched and puckery at the end of each row, getting worse and worse and after 4 double rows (ACK!) I gave up and tore out the stitches and pins and blamed the backing fabric (which I got at Value Village and is kind of cheap feeling but pretty). Ok. So I picked a different backing fabric (green from Ikea, fabric I’ve used for quilting lots of times with no trouble) and the same thing is happening. And I promise I’ve used a lot more pins and I also hand basted with thread, all around the edge.

So what the hey? Why is this happening? Is the top not ironed properly? Should I try super steaming it and using spray starch to keep it orderly? Gah. I’m feeling so very frustrated.

Ok. That was the good news rudely interrupted by the bad news. Now in the other news, I’m plotting a purse using plank print fabric from Ikea. I just need to figure out the lining and get me some rope for the handles. I love this print!

Can’t hardly wait to have me a new summer handbag that doesn’t rip my dang hair out all the time!

A lot of blood.

Avert your eyes if this kind of thing makes you queasy.

This picture shows what I lost, including nail.

Kind of puts a damper on my all quilting weekend. I will resort to plan B, lots of Portal 2. Things could be worse.