Has anything sillier ever existed? I can’t take it out of the plastic wrapper until I have a frame for it so I won’t get damaged by spit takes. Seriously, it’s pretty much the funniest card ever.

Well. See, I said card, not picture. Nope. As of right now this is the funniest picture:

Haha!

Really. I really wondered that.

Then I realized that whoever put this festive scarecrow decoration together just put the body on upside down. It looks super hilarious to me and I cackled loudly at the grocery store when I figured it out.

Sorry it’s so glare-y. I was in line to get some lunch and things were happening fast and I’m fairly certain that people already thought I was weird because of the laughing and picture taking.

Poor old Michael Jackson. Even a year after his death they haven’t found his nose.

Oh. Yes, I got a Liberty of London basket thing. And zebra stripe shoes. And crazy flavour changing gum that’s totally mental.

Then we drove past what has to be the biggest concentration of no-tell motels in the world. This one’s my very favourite:

Love it. Love that it’s just a bit of Paris. Not too much. I mean, come on, how much Paris do you really need?

Went to see IronMan 2 tonight, it was good. I fell asleep for a little bit, but not all of it. A good sign.

And my knee’s a mess. I actually went to the dr today to have him look at it. There’s nerve damage that’s worrisome. But there’s nothing to be done anyway. And even if I did want painkillers, it turns out he’s no longer allowed to prescribe them. Sigh.

But this? This is cute. At least, as cute as a huge dump of shit can be. I had actually noticed this pile on my first trip out of the house today and thought, gee, if my dog made that I wouldn’t touch it either, not with a bag or a pole. But luckily, someone out there, some funny person with a real artistic flair, DID want to touch it.

Aw! Cute, eh? And let me tell you, that is a BIG dump, as big as both my fists. And  I wasn’t embarrassed at all, standing on Bloor Street West with my phone out, laughing like a loon.

This is the sidewalk outside my local titty bar.  I noticed the blood a couple days ago and yesterday it had all been circled in spray paint. I wonder why.

I know I’ve shared my most recent excellent news with my family and friends, but here it is for the rest of the cloud.

Assuming it was Ari that set this Ken doll up before she left for vacation…He’s wearing Barbie’s pants, Happy Meal toy mask and one of his own boots on his arm. And I have NO IDEA what it means but I like it.

Today, on the subway platform, a couple I see almost daily outside the bank near the corner of Yonge and Eglinton. She has a little doggy that isn’t terribly friendly to strangers and he sells the homeless paper. They are friendly enough. I have never seen them traveling before,  and he was dragging a small suitcase with wheels. Something about it caught my eye, something moving inside it, visible in a open zipper. I looked closer…COCKROACHES!!!! Lots of ‘em! I quickly scurried away, like a cockroach would, out of fear. Then I got my wits about me and took a picture with my phone. So, yeah, it’s blurry and you can’t see anything gross, but trust me, there was probably a hundred bugs in the pocket and who knows how many more inside. Then I purposely sat as far away from that bag as I could…

Would it be possible to get bedbugs this way? I worry about stuff like that… :(

Really. Is that not the grossest thing ever?

The other day I went to Sephora to look at makeup and maybe buy a little treat. I go to Shopper’s a lot, like, a LOT, and wind up playing in their makeup section but I don’t really trust the makeup ladies there, so I thought I could ask more questions at Sephora about Smashbox Cosmetics. There’s this anti-shine stuff that’s so awesome, really, I hate wearing powder and I really hate wearing foundation. So I was kind of drooling over that and the magical blush stuff (will someone please tell me how this works) and across the room I saw the most incredible person ever: a man wearing makeup. Not that it’s that huge a deal, I guess. You see dudes with eyeliner all the time, right? Well, this guy was one up on those guys. He had foundation, bronzer, perfectly waxed eyebrows and…what can only be described as makeup sideburns. His head was shaved very closely (not bald, though) and he’d filled in his hairline with some kind of soft black makeup. It was subtle, yes, but it was SO crazy obvious.

And I laughed. I laughed and laughed and called Emily, who wasn’t home so I told her mom about the guy. Then I laughed more and tried to hide but he kept wanting to look at the same stuff as me and I finally bought what I wanted and left with no further browsing. I was super tempted to say something to one of the employees there (something clever like ‘holy, I dig his burns!’) but what if they know him? What if he’s a regular customer that spends tons of money and they all love him? What if he’s a personal friend of one of them?

I resisted. It was hard. I have been laughing about it since and everyone I tell this story to is quite jealous and wish they’d seen him irl…

Lucky me, I ran into him again tonight. I was laughing my head off again, at something else, and there he was out of the corner of my eye, Sideburn Makeup. He must think I am crazy. I know, I should have followed him, but I didn’t…