Last night, on my way home from quilting class (which, just to be clear, I LOVE!), I was on the bus, headphones deep in my ears blaring Howard Stern when 2 LDS guys got on. I think, if I remember correctly, their names were Elder Brainwashed and Elder Superdoy. Anyway. One leaned towards me and said something that I couldn’t hear because Howard was in the middle of moderating an arguement between Bababooey and that filthy clown guy. So I pulled a headphone out of one ear and asked him to repeat himself.
“Is that a bag?” he says, gesturing to my-get this-bag.
So I asked him to repeat himeself again and I guess I’d heard him right the first time.
“Is that a bag?”
How does one even answer the world’s stupidest question? It was very difficult to keep the sarcasm at a minimum.
“Yes” says I, slowly. “It IS a bag. I mean, my bag…it’s a bag.” Then I smiled kindly. That kind of dumb you don’t want to anger. Then I put my headphone back in my ear and turned away to discourage more silliness.
Fast forward 24 hours.
After work this evening I was on the subway, minding my own business, knitting and listening to Howard again. A man sits beside me-ok, not beside, but I was facing forward, he was facing sideways, so our knees were pretty much touching-and he’s eating out of a giant bag of movie popcorn. Watching me knit. Then he dropped a popcorn onto his coat without noticing and it tumbled down between us, maybe landing on my boot. No big deal. Then he speaks:
“I bet my popcorn bothers you!” in a playful way but as he says it, a piece flies OUT OF HIS MOUTH, landing on my purse.
It didn’t bother me at all until that exact moment. Thanks.
Reminds me of a time I was on the bus and this guy’s lollipop fell out of his mouth and rolled under my shoe. I didn’t notice until he picked it back up and popped it into his mouth.
Ok, Steph, that’s just gross!
Oh man. All your stories make me miss the awesomeness of living in Toronto.
In small town England no one cares enough to spit popcorn on your boot.