1. At school on Monday, one of the students showed me her new tattoo. It’s a skull with a mohawk on her forearm. At first I was doubtful, but I touched it and it’s real. Then she demonstrated how still she had to hold her arm, for, like, a half hour. Like this. The fella she was sitting beside had to try it out. Stretching out his arm, like this? Like this. Like this. And finally I started laughing and they stopped.
2. On the subway, on my way to work, I was reading a new book, The 100 Mile Diet, which I highly recommend, and was rudely interrupted by a man with a can of beer sneakily hidden in a black plastic beer store bag, who loudly asked “Excuse me, do you like your man to have a six pack?” to another woman on the train. She ignored him. Louder “HEY! Do you like your man to have a six pack??” directed at me. I stared, for a brief moment, then went back to my book. Shouted “All you ladies on the train, raise your hand if you like your man to have a six pack, ’cause I got one and I ain’t afraid to show you right now!” I eased my way further down the train, further away from him. Then, in a more normal volume, to a woman and her friend “Hey, how old are you? I don’t normally do older women, but you look fine. You like a six pack?”
3. A clue to show you don’t live with a room mate: all your cutlery and food storage containers are still in your house.
*none of these are related, I just needed to get them all down.
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